Why are women (moms, in particular) sometimes so untrusting of the decisions we make?
We could cite a judgmental society as the culprit. We probably wouldn’t be wrong. But one thing I’ve learned about parenting in just eighteen months, is that there are plenty of things that truly are out of our control when it comes to raising children – everything from the germs in the parks they play in to the unforeseen injuries that happen literally in front of our faces – so why not seize the opportunity to revel in the things we actually can control?
I’m talking about our confidence. You see the only difference between a confident mom and an unconfident mom is the perception she has of herself. If you start to believe in yourself, you’ll actually feel better and stronger, and you’ll permeate those feelings to those around you, most importantly, your children. They’ll know you’re strong in your convictions, and that enhances your credibility as a parent.
But none of that can happen if we continue to doubt ourselves.
To be fair, this feeling is totally understandable and relatable. We live in a hyper-connected society that lacks empathy and enjoys passing judgment on each other in a way that makes us feel exalted and special. (Let’s work on that).
Moreover, as a parent, there is a scary plethora of resources to sift through and ultimately make you feel like you’re doing wrong. If it’s not a family member, or a colleague, a friend, or a distant relative you don’t even see often, it’s the television. It’s a “news” article with the most recent benchmarks from the FDA, the FCC, and the FBI (by the way, they’re coming for you).
We’ve got to cut through the noise. We’ve got to resign ourselves to the chaos and set ourselves free by fully accepting that we’re bad asses. (And we’re not going to take the doubt anymore!)
This may seem so challenging. “Well if I could do that, wouldn’t I have done it already?” Stick with me. We just need to recalibrate.
Think about it: You trust your own safety (and that of your children) with actual strangers operating heavy machinery when you’re traveling in a car, train, or plane. You trust that other drivers will stop at red lights. You put your kids in car seats, high chairs, and booster seats trusting that the manufacturers made a product sound enough to keep them safe from harm. You trust the playground equipment that your children enjoy with glee. You trust that your mailman will deliver your mail – and only that. You ultimately trust the brands and companies that produce the foods and other essentials that you voluntarily give your child to consume.
Look at all these random strangers you trust your kid with – before you trust your own self sometimes. Doesn’t it seem silly?
Try a little trust fall exercise the next time you find yourself wondering whether you’re doing something correctly, or in the best fashion for your child. Look at yourself in the mirror and say:
“Of course I’m doing this right. I’m [insert child’s name]’s mom. No one knows better what he/she needs. I got this.”
But be careful. The results may stun you. Common side effects of confidence include genuine smiles, potential shimmies, a search for a random high five from the nearest adult, and you may even experience the notion that you’re kicking ass.
Are you ready for this? I think you are. If you really want to treat yo’self, just trust yo’self.
FOR JT & NA ❤
“In spite of this you’re doing just fine/Even diamonds start as coal. Give us time to shine/Even diamonds start as coal.” –PLAY Incubus “Diamonds and Coal”